A Bit Delayed Jokes For The Day (Women’s Day) Have A Happy Cracking Weekend

Picture Credit: surfkid74 SXC

A Bit Delayed Jokes For The Day (Women’s Day) 

Have A Happy Cracking Weekend

A Special Package for Business Men.

An Airline Introduced A Special Package For Business Men. Buy Ur Ticket Get Ur Wife's Ticket Free. After Great Success, The Company Sent Letters To All The Wives Asking How Was The Trip.

All Of Them Gave A Same Reply..."Which Trip?"

Husband was seriously ill

Husband was seriously ill. Doc to wife: Give him healthy breakfast, be pleasant & in good mood, don’t discuss your problems, no TV serial, don’t demand new clothes & gold jewels,

Do this for 1 yr & he will be ok.

On the way home.. Husband: what did the doc say Wife:- .No chance for u to survive

An intelligent wife

''An Intelligent Wife Is One Who Makes Sure She Spends So Much

That Her Husband Can't Afford Another Women"

New SIM to surprise her husband

Woman Buys A New Sim Card Puts It In Her Phone And Decides To Surprise Her Husband Who Is Seated On The Couch In The Living Room. She Goes To The Kitchen, Calls Her Husband With The New Number: "Hello Darling"

The Husband Responds In A Low Tone: "Let Me Call U Back Later Honey, The Dumb Lady Is In The Kitchen..

Wife treats husband

A Wife Treats Hubby By Taking Him To A Lap Dance Club For His Birthday ..

At The Club: Doorman Says: Hi Jim How R You?

Wife Asks: How Does He Know You?           

Jim Says: Oh Dear, I Play Football with Him

Inside Barman Says: The Usual Jim ?          

Jim Says To Wife: Before You Say Anything, He's On the Darts Team in My Local

Next A Lap Dancer Says: Hi Jim       

Do You Crave Special Again?

The Wife Storms Out Dragging Jim With Her & Jumps Into A Taxi..

Driver Says "Hey Jimmy Boy, You Picked Up An Ugly One This Time.."

Jim's Funeral Is On Sunday

Cool message by a wife

Cool Msg by a woman: Dear Mother-in-law, "Don't Teach me how 2 handle my children, I'm living with one of yours & he needs a lot of improvement"

I will think about it

When a married man says "I'll think about it",

What he really means that,  He doesn't know his wife's opinion yet..

Habit of talking in sleep

A Lady to a Doctor:    

My husband has habit of talking in sleep! What should I give him to cure? 

Dr: Give him an Opportunity to speak when he is awake

Wife: Do you want dinner?

Wife: Do you want dinner?  

Husband: Sure, what are my choices?        

Wife: Yes and no.

To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire

Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?"

Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."

Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman.    

Interviewer: "What were you before you married her?"     

Millionaire: "A Billionaire"

Wife wish 2 be a newspaper

Wife: I wish I was a newspaper so I would be in your hands all day.

Husband: I too wish that You were a newspaper so I could have a new one every day.

Hell to hell is Free.

A man in Hell asked Devil:   

Can I make a call to my Wife?         

After making call he asked how much to pay.         

Devil: Nothing, Hell to hell is Free.

What if you don't see me for 2 days?

A man came home late at night after a party.       

His wife yelled:        

"How would you feel if you don't see me for two days?"    

The man couldn’t believe his luck: 'that would be great'!   

Monday passed and he didn’t see her......  

Tuesday and Wednesday passed too.....     

On Thursday his swelling became better    

And now he could see her from the corner of one eye.

Who is guilty (Husband / Wife)?

Wife is dreaming in the middle of the night and suddenly shouts: "Up! Quick! My husband is back!" Man gets up, jumps out of the window, hurts himself, and then realizes: "Damn, I am the husband!"

NATURAL DISASTERS JUST HAPPEN

Nobody teaches Volcanoes to erupt,    Tsunamis to devastate, Hurricanes to sway around & no one teaches How to choose a Wife, NATURAL DISASTERS JUST HAPPEN.

Difference between Friend & Wife

U can Tell ur Friend "U r my Best Friend"    

But Do u have courage tell to your Wife "U r my Best Wife?"

Why did u shoot your wife?

Judge: why did u shoot ur wife instead of shooting her lover?

Sardar: Your honor, it's easier to shoot a woman once, than shooting one man every week.

Your husband needs rest

Doctor: Madam, your husband needs rest and peace, so here are some sleeping pills.

Wife: Doc, when should I give them to him?          

Doctor: They are for you.!!

    0O0

vailiki sxc

Evelyn Parham

      

Pic. Credt. sxc.hu

Pic. Credit. sxc.hu

Alice Mathews Martin

Omana Philip

We Wish You All A Happy Week End!!!

Ariel & Associates

 Source:

Alwyn Menezes & Ronald D'Silva

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