Malayalees (Keralites) and Their English Accent (Just for Laugh)

(A Joke on Keralites)

There is a common belief that Malayalees (Keralites) English accent is very poor and others laugh at them when they speak English. This is a joke made upon that line...



The people of Kerala (A. southern state in India) members of the collection of the ethnic groups defined by their native language 'Malayalam. They are generally called- 'Malayali'  or "Malayalees" this word is derived from the word 'Malayalam.' The people who speak the language Malayalam and are natives of Kerala are called Malayalis or Keralites or yet another nick name added  that is "Mallus".
 There is a common belief and saying that Malayali's English accent is poor and others laugh at them when they speak English. Of course now the trend is changed and an estimated 75 to 80% of the children are getting convent or English medium education and they are proving or proved their metal in many areas the world over. And among them there are  a good number of  well educated and renowned  professors, scientist and business people.  But still people make fun of us on our English accent. There are a good number of created stories on this line.  Just for a change and for a lighter vein I am herewith posting some of the jokes for the day.  I am sure my Malayalee brethren (Malloos) the world over will not get annoyed. Instead I am sure they take this lighter vein.

Here is a sample of such stocks, received via mail from my friend, Vasanth Kumar (A Telugu Brother).       Hope my Malayali breth                                                                                                .
Don't worry we are no less than anybody else. In literacy we are on the top of the list. I congratulate and appreciate my fellow Kerala brethren scattered all over the world. 
Yet another interesting thing, a common saying about Malayaalees are that "They are  found even on the surface of  the moon"  That means whereever you go you can find a Malayaali.   I am happy to note this with much proud, Keep up my dear fellow Malloo brethren.
 I am again proud to say that Kerala is the only State achieved 100% literacy rate in the world.
So Cheer up My Dear Fellow beings.

 Q. Name the wonly part of the werld, where Malayalis don't werk hard? Ans: Kerala.
 Q. Why is industrial productivity is very low in Kerala?
A: Because 80% of the shift time is spent on lifting, folding and re-tying the mundu or lungi (a garment worn around the waist) LOL
 Q. Why did Malayali buy an air-ticket?
A: To go to Thuubai (Dubai), zimbly to meet his ungle in the Gelff (Gulf)
 Q. Why do Malayali's go to the Gelff?
A: To yearn meney
 Q. What did the Malayali do when the plane caught fire?
A: He zimbly jembd out of the vindow.
 Q. What is Malayali management graduate called?
A: Yem Bee Yae.
 Q. Why did his wife divorce him?
A: Because he was louwing another woman. Who found out that? His aandy (aunt).
 Q. What does a Malayali do when he goes to America?
A: He changes his name from Karunakaran to Kevin Curren.
 Q. What does a Malayali use to commute to office everyday?
A: An Oto.
 Q. Why Kerala is the heghly literrate state in India?
A: It's easily giving Degree to get rid of the peapal from Kerala.
 Q. Which car does he purchase when he gets license?
A: A second hand Mercedes.
 Another interesting part of this joke is given in the Post Script, it says:
PS: Please don't delete this; it's not a junk mail. If you send this mail to 10 Malayalis you will receive ½ liter cocunut oil. 20 Malayalis you will receive 1 kg benena chips. 40 Malayalis you will receive 3Appams (a dosa like preparation (sweet taste) prepare on festive seasons) and mutton curry.

Yet another interesting joke I noticed is given below:

A "Mallu" (Malayalees are called sarcastically by this word) female (from the central part-more educated class lives in this part) of Kerala) went for a job interview for the post of a PERSONAL SECRETARY.
 When the manager saw the Mallu's colorful attire and gold and well oiled uncombed jet black hair, his mind was screaming "WHOW!! NOT THIS WOMAN."
 Nevertheless, he still had to entertain the Mallu.
 So he told her "If you could form a sentence using the words that I give you, and then may be I will give you a chance. The words are GREEN, PINK, YELLOW, BLUE, WHITE, PURPLE and BLACK."

The enthusiastic Mallu lady thought for a while and said:
 I hear the phone GREEN GREEN GREEN, then I go and PINK up the phone, I say YELLOW......BLUE's that? WHITE did you say? Aiye, Wrong number ........Don't PURPOSELY disturb people and don't call BLACK, ok? Thank you."
 Hearing this the Manager fainted.......

Source : ILoveKerala.Org

Authors and readers are invited to contribute to this knol with more such jokesnot only on Keralites but other jokes too are welcome.  Keep writing my dear flocks. THANKS IN ADVANCE.   
  Post Script:               



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Most of these jokes have become old now; also, some of them sound very much like the Gujju accents I come across in Surat--like benena instead of banana. Ungle instead of Uncle is a Mallu accent for sure.

"ISMILE" instead of smile could be either Bihari or U.P...There are countless more such examples; just observe when they speak...

The joke given below is also very interesting---I guess i should say "Bery interesting" since I am Bengali...

A Delhi Panju guy decides to buy 3 samosas from a popular road side eatery. He asks the shop guy to "rape" (wrap) 3 samosas for him. The shop guy asks "do you want them to be raped separately or together?"

Last edited Oct 16, 2010 12:10 AM
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Dear Friend, Thanks for the comment, Yes, I know these are pretty old jokes and i agree too that some other states like AP, Gujarat, Bengal and many others too will fall into this section, but still keralites accents are far more better than of all others, Just for the sake of some fun I posted this, I am sure many of my Malayalee friends here and elsewhere will not get offended and will take this lightly,
Dear Friend, I invite you to be a co-author or contributor to this knol
with best regards
PS: by the by will you pl reveal your identity. Thanks

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Posted by P V Ariel, last edited Oct 16, 2010 12:09 AM


Thanks for the

Last edited Oct 16, 2010 12:50 AM
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Thanks Bhavana I really missed your comment, Will you pl. join me in this knol as a co author or a contributor. I am sure you can add some jokes here in relation to the English language
With best regards

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Posted by P V Ariel, last edited Oct 16, 2010 12:50 AM



Last edited Oct 22, 2010 7:17 AM
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Hi Murali,
Thanks for the comment, somehow i missed your post, Happy to note that you did not get offended on these jokes, I appreciate.
Murali Here is an invitation I am posting pl post some jokes of similar kind if any on English accent
Thanks in advance

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Posted by P V Ariel, last edited Oct 16, 2010 1:13 AM
PV, That is really interesting indeed, no worries,
write on and on :-)

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Posted by Murali DharanInvite as author, last edited Oct 17, 2010 8:21 AM
Thanks Murali

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Posted by P V Ariel, last edited Oct 22, 2010 7:17 AM

Very Interesting

Its really interesting. These jokes made our DAY. Thanks PV for this funny Jokes about, we malayalees, though its interesting many are not relevent at all at this present day, because Malayalees are improved a lot in thier status in all levels. Some we can't take it, any way thanks for the "PERSONAL SECRETARY" joke. All the best

Last edited Oct 24, 2008 6:29 AM
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Philip Verghese Ariel Founder and CEO at Philipscom

A freelance writer, editor and a blogger from Kerala. Now based at Secunderabad, Telangana, India. Can reach at: pvariel(@)Gmail [.] Com
Tel: 09700882768